Fifty Shades Freed – Top 5 Fake Spoilers

No other film series has so successfully adapted pulp erotica into gold-plated pornography and come next February it’ll be time for another installment. To tide you over until the actual movie comes out, check out these fake spoilers.

5 - This is what happens when you hire a Dexter writer to punch up the script.
#5 – This is what happens when you hire a Dexter writer to punch up the script.

4 - Anastasia and Christian are happy they eventually decided to have a traditional wedding ceremony.
#4 – Anastasia and Christian are happy they decided to have a traditional wedding ceremony.



Trailer Tuesday: “Old Fashioned”

Well, as many of you have probably caught on, I typically reserve “Trailer Tuesday” for whatever hot new blockbuster is about to hit theatres and give it an in-depth, philosophical and life-changing analyzation. (Sarcasm).  However, this week, I’ve decided to give some love to the little guy…because that’s what we all consist of, isn’t it? Little guys (and girls) trying to make it in a big world. Alright that’s enough philosophy.

In an attempt to compete with, or rather pull attention away from, the impending phenomenon that is the “Fifty Shades of Grey” film franchise, this little indie film called “Old Fashioned” does something unique with its’ trailer. I came across this while perusing the Apple trailers page and was surprised to see such small project getting some love from the Apple monster. 50ShadesVsOFSmall There is no dialogue in this trailer, and it makes direct comparisons to the “Fifty Shades of Grey” books and film, in that it prides itself on being the exact opposite.  Title cards and clips of a young love flourishing roll over a nifty, heartfelt soundtrack that these producers probably found on a royalty free website of some sort.  Either way, I applaud their efforts.  They take the stereotypical characters of the “Fifty Shades” series and intentionally draw attention to the fact that these characters are sincere, innocent, realistic people just looking for love in a…well…old fashioned way.


Trailer Tuesday: “Fifty Shades of Grey”

A wise man once said that we all briefly get to become a film critic when watching the trailers preceding a movie. Actually, that was a stand-up sketch by Dane Cook. But the statement remains true.

unnamed-1Trailers are designed to garner hype and provide a first glimpse of what an audience can expect from the film itself.  Take Comic-Con for example.  Fanboys and girls alike travel from all parts of the world just to see the panels of their favorite upcoming movies or tv shows in hopes of getting at least a little peak of some visuals to feast their eyes on…literally. It’s a smorgasbord for the corneas.

However, in recent times, trailers have become something even more, in that they can be seen as a standalone supplement to the “bigger picture”.  In laymen’s terms, a trailer can be great (well-edited, enthralling music) but the film could easily turn into a snooze-fest.  And vice versa.

Last Thursday, the first trailer for the “Fifty Shades of Grey” adaptation debuted online.  Now, going back to that whole “trailers are standalone supplements” theory, I will refrain from making any judgments on the potential flop-ability of the actual film. I have not read the books (except the Wikipedia summaries just for the sake of finding out if there really was more to this story than the kinky S&M freak show everyone keeps referencing).

unnamedSo, when I went to first view the trailer I had absolutely no idea what to expect. Much to my surprise, I was thoroughly intrigued (not in a creepy way).  As you will see below, the trailer opens with a peculiar and innocent looking Anastasia Steele (Dakota Johnson) who is interviewing the intimidating and darkly charming Christian Grey (Jamie Dornan) for her college newspaper.  The sparks and chemistry are instant. Some titillating dialogue is exchanged between the two in their silky, seductive tones, then the “beat drops” if you will.  As Ana and Christian kiss (presumably for the first time) in Christian’s office elevator, the music piques with a uniquely altered version of “Crazy in Love” by Beyonce, which is undoubtedly being used as another marketing ploy for the film.

This trailer has great timing, hits the right marks on cue with the music and really adds some mystery to a situation that, on paper, reads like a pretty one-dimensional storyline.  As we are first introduced to Christian’s “playroom” through Ana’s perspective, we get a realistic sense of what she is experiencing because of the set up. It doesn’t reveal too much, but reveals enough to maintain an intriguing level of curiosity.


What do you guys think? Will this trailer get you to drop $15 next Valentine’s Day?