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Avengers: Infinity War – Top 10 Fake Spoilers

In an attempt to release a movie so huge it’ll give each fan his very own heart attack, Disney has crammed every single hero from the Marvel Cinematic Universe into one (okay, two) giant film(s). To prepare for the only film with a call sheet longer than its running time, check out the following fake spoilers for Avengers: Infinity War

10 – Let’s admit it, it’s kind of nice to see a Hemsworth in pain.

9 - Thanos's primary motivation: Conquer the Universe. Secondary motivation?: Bedazzle his Gauntlet.
9 – Thanos’s primary motivation: Conquer the Universe.
Secondary motivation?: Bedazzle his Gauntlet.

8 - Only one of these three actors has a "I'm getting back end box office points" smile on their face. Can you guess who?
8 – Only one of these actors has a “I’m getting box office points” smile on his face. Can you guess which one?

7 - You know the drill, Ruffalo. You get 15 minutes of exposition in the sport coat then it's torn pants and green skin for the rest of the film.
7 – You know the drill, Ruffalo. You get 15 minutes in the sport coat then it’s torn pants and green skin for acts 2 & 3.

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University-Style Notions of Race Creep Further into Popular Culture

In this modern collegiate age where every possible sub-division of the human race has to have a “safe space” in which to properly commiserate with those of like hue, various arenas of popular culture are following suit.

This past week, for example, it was announced that the new comic book version of Marvel’s Spider-Man will be a biracial — black Hispanic — teenager.

This isn’t all that big an announcement by itself, of course (the character, Miles Morales, was established already as an alternate reality version of everyone’s favorite wall-crawler); what was most interesting were the comments of his co-creator, Brian Michael Bendis:

The enormity of Miles Morales’ place in comic book history didn’t really hit Bendis, a father who has two kids of color among his four children, until recently. His 4-year-old adopted African-American daughter found a Miles Morales Spidey mask in the toy aisle of a department store, put it on and said, “Look daddy, I’m Spider-Man!” he recalls.

“I started crying in the middle of the aisle,” says Bendis. “I realized my kids are going to grow up in a world that has a multi-racial Spider-Man, and an African American Captain America and a female Thor.”

Many kids of color who when they were playing superheroes with their friends, their friends wouldn’t let them be Batman or Superman because they don’t look like those heroes but they could be Spider-Man because anyone could be under that mask.

“Our message has to be it’s not Spider-Man with an asterisk, it’s the real Spider-Man for kids of color, for adults of color and everybody else.”

This is very intriguing for two main reasons.

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michelle-rodriguez-machete-kills

A Breath of Fresh Air on the Comicbook and Movie Diversity Craze

The openly bisexual actress Michelle Rodriguez was asked recently about possibly being cast as the Green Lantern for a future film.

Her answer was epic:

I think it’s so stupid because of this whole minorities in Hollywood thing. It’s so stupid. Stop stealing all the white people’s superheroes. Make up your own. You know what I am saying? What’s up with that?

While this may be a bit harsh (Rodriguez indeed backpedaled a bit on her Facebook page after her comment), it speaks to the current craze within, if not yet so much the comicbook movie industry, certainly the print comicbook biz.

The “Big Two” companies, Marvel and DC, over recent years have “re-imagined” many of their popular heroes by

  • turning Thor into a woman
  • having Sam Wilson, the Falcon and an African-American, assume the role of Captain America
  • making Ms. Marvel a teenaged Muslim female
  • making Green Lantern a Muslim male
  • making the original Green Lantern gay
  • creating an Hispanic-black Spider-Man
  • turning Nick Fury into a black man
  • transforming Johnny Storm, the Human Torch, into a black guy
  • making Asgard’s Heimdall a black guy
  • officially making Catwoman bisexual

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