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Bureaucracy and the Beast

(B&B is in the public domain of everyone’s childhood so Boblius refuses to acknowledge plot details as “spoilers.”)

Before he’s THE BEAST, Beast is a tax-and-spend Prince. He vacuums income from the subjects of his French village to throw lavish parties where he prances around like Agador from The Birdcage (but somehow isn’t the gay character people are up in arms about?). The villagers are happy to RSVP in the affirmative for pre-Beast’s parties as long as he doesn’t mock them.

That's more like it.
That’s more like it.

When a disheveled and smelly (one assumes) crone stumbles into pre-Beast’s latest party offering a single rose in exchange for shelter during a horrific storm, he laughs her offer away. Only pre-Beast gives out the roses in this edition of Bizarro Bachelor. For his haughtiness, the crone reveals herself to be an Enchantress (we wouldn’t want to call her a witch in a movie starring Hermione) then transforms pre-Beast into THE (CGI) BEAST. Finally. Now he looks like the Beast from our childhood. Whew. (more…)

TOTY award

VOTE: Trailer of the Year Award

Welcome to Smash Cut Culture’s annual Trailer of the Year Award.  This is the inaugural year and we are excited to showcase six of the year’s best trailers. It will be up to you to determine which of the six should take home the top prize.

Before we continue, we must address the big elephant in the room, or rather, the big bantha in the room. You will notice that there are a total of zero Star Wars: The Force Awakens nominations.  This was done for one reason, it would have been a completely pointless contest because anything Star Wars on the internet, wins.  I equate it to long discussions about who was the greatest wide receiver in NFL history, in that there are no long discussions because of Jerry Rice. There are long discussions about who is the second best NFL receiver, but the top spot belongs to Rice.

So to keep this interesting and still interactive, Star Wars trailers are banned from contention. Because for the foreseeable future,  there will be a new Star Wars trailer released every year that breaks the internet.  That is unless The Force Awakens turns out to suck, then all bets are off.

Now that that is out of the way, on to the nominations of which each will introduced by a top YouTube comment.

(more…)

copcar

Trailer of the Year Awards – Cop Car

Our third nominee for the Trailer of the Year Award is definitely going to be a long shot in taking the top prize, but it’s a fun trailer full of all the right camera shots, a campy tone, with accelerating soundtrack all topped with Kevin Bacon as the bad guy with a mustache that might win ‘Stache of the Year.

Two young boys come across an abandoned police cruiser with the keys still inside, they decide to leave well enough alone, walk to the nearest adult and tell them what they found.  Oh no, wait… that’s the boring version.  These kids take that sucker for joyride.  Sirens, lights and high speed, it’s all fun and games until the cop (Bacon) who left it behind comes looking for it.

Film opens August 7, I hope it’s as campy-fun as the trailer.