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Avengers: Infinity War – Top 10 Fake Spoilers

In an attempt to release a movie so huge it’ll give each fan his very own heart attack, Disney has crammed every single hero from the Marvel Cinematic Universe into one (okay, two) giant film(s). To prepare for the only film with a call sheet longer than its running time, check out the following fake spoilers for Avengers: Infinity War

10 – Let’s admit it, it’s kind of nice to see a Hemsworth in pain.

9 - Thanos's primary motivation: Conquer the Universe. Secondary motivation?: Bedazzle his Gauntlet.
9 – Thanos’s primary motivation: Conquer the Universe.
Secondary motivation?: Bedazzle his Gauntlet.

8 - Only one of these three actors has a "I'm getting back end box office points" smile on their face. Can you guess who?
8 – Only one of these actors has a “I’m getting box office points” smile on his face. Can you guess which one?

7 - You know the drill, Ruffalo. You get 15 minutes of exposition in the sport coat then it's torn pants and green skin for the rest of the film.
7 – You know the drill, Ruffalo. You get 15 minutes in the sport coat then it’s torn pants and green skin for acts 2 & 3.

6 - At this point Marvel just flips a coin at the start of every movie to decide whether Loki's going to be good or bad this time.
6 – At this point Marvel just flips a coin at the start of every movie to decide whether Loki’s going to be good or bad this time.

5 - Thanos's first brilliant move was putting a NYC diplomatic plate on his space portal so no one can move it.
5 – Thanos’s first brilliant move was putting a NYC diplomatic plate on his space portal so no one can move it.

4 - "Do not rush me! I can only express myself when given the time to speak in a soulful cadence."
4 – “Do not rush me! I can only express myself when given the time to speak in a soulful cadence.”

3 - The tragedy of Paul Bettany: 6 total hours of Jarvis voice recording for the first Iron Man has turned into 6 hours of makeup every day on Infinity War.
3 – The tragedy of Paul Bettany: 6 total hours of Jarvis voice recording in the first Iron Man has turned into 6 hours of makeup every day on Infinity War.

2 - Spend enough time making a movie in a remote location and I guess things can't help but get a little bit "Brokeback" between stars.
2 – Spend enough time making a movie in a remote location and I guess things can’t help but get a little bit “Brokeback” between stars.

1 - Dare we call this a "Pratt" fall?
1 – Dare we call this a “Pratt” fall?

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  • Dugan Bridges

    Who writes these? They’re really funny.