Ready Player One

Ready Player One – Top 10 Fake Spoilers

Do you want to escape to an alternate reality where Steven Spielberg still makes fun movies? Then you’re probably psyched for Ready Player One. As you wait on line next to a guy using R.P.O. as an excuse to dress like M. Bison for the night, browse the following Fake Spoilers…

10 - Tye Sheridan has played Cyclops in one X-Men movie and he's already a victim of typecasting.
10 – Tye Sheridan has played Cyclops in one X-Men movie and he’s already a victim of typecasting.

9 - Steven Spielberg returns to big budget sci-fi form because you can never be too careful with J.J. nipping at your heels.
9 – Steven Spielberg returns to big budget sci-fi form because you can never be too careful with J.J. nipping at your heels.

8 - Ben Mendelsohn: The only actor who insists on a "No Likeability" clause for every movie he makes.
8 – Ben Mendelsohn: The only actor who insists on a “No Likeability” clause in every movie he makes.

7 - You can do anything you want in the O.A.S.I.S. so like any teenage boy, Wade chooses to perform an elaborate Cirque du Soleil routine.
7 – You can do anything you want in the O.A.S.I.S. so like any teenage boy, Wade chooses to perform an elaborate Cirque du Soleil routine.

6 - Neither snow nor rain nor a bad-ass supervillain keeps these couriers from the swift completion of their appointed rounds.
6 – “Neither snow nor rain nor a bad-ass supervillain keeps these couriers from the swift completion of their appointed rounds.

5 - Well, this answers the question of what you do when you need to go to the bathroom while you're in The O.A.S.I.S.
5 – Well, this answers the question of what you do when you need to go to the bathroom while you’re in the O.A.S.I.S.

4 - The beginning of either the best or worst teenage self-body image.
4 – The beginning of either the best or worst teen self-body image.

3 - Not that button! It reminds O.A.S.I.S. customers they still live with their parents!
3 – Not that button! It reminds O.A.S.I.S. customers they still live with their parents!

2 - It may be artificial reality but still check on where her hand was before she puts it in your hair.
2 – It may be virtual reality but you should still check on where her hand’s been before she puts it in your hair.

1 - Details are murky but let's just say Voltron agreed to pinch hit for Optimus Prime after some #metoo/Spacey/Plummer revelations crept up.
1 – Details are murky but let’s just say Voltron agreed to take over Optimus Prime’s part after some Spacey-esque revelations crept up about the Autobot leader.

Bonus Spoiler 1 - Either Sir Mark Rylance is one of those chameleon actors willing to play anything or he simply won't say no to the guy he owes his Oscar to.
Bonus Spoiler 1 – Either Sir Mark Rylance is one of those chameleon actors willing to play anything or he simply can’t say no to the guy he owes his Oscar to.

Bonus Spoiler 2 - Just respect that for some people reliving the '80s means Breakin' 2: Electric Boogaloo not Back to the Future.
Bonus Spoiler 2 – Just respect that for some people reliving the ’80s means Breakin’ 2: Electric Boogaloo not Back to the Future.

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