“This script needs more ObamaCare!”

That’s what Valerie Jarrett, President Obama’s Senior Advisor, has basically been saying during her recent visit to Hollywood.  The president and his staff are attempting to get some marketing help from Hollywood with some good ol’ fashioned product placement. Because as a consumer, there’s nothing that makes me want a product even more than when it’s shoehorned into my favorite television shows!

Like any good citizen, I’ve come up with some of my own potential episode storylines. However, where Jarrett wants ObamaCare to be simply be mentioned positively, I think it’s a strong enough presence to be the primary focus of an A story on most shows.

Grey’s Anatomy

Due to the Affordable Care Act, Seattle Grace Mercy West Hospital receives a surge in patients who would normally just “wait out” their illnesses.  Because the surgeons are all overbooked, none of them have time to sleep with each other and/or talk about personal problems all day.  This unrealized sexual and mental release takes a toll on the doctors, who all become hospitalized due to stress-induced illnesses.  Doesn’t sound like the end of the story, does it?  Yeah, because it’s the season finale cliffhanger. And there’s also like a nuclear bomb or something that’s going to explode inside the heart of a five-year old kid with Asperger’s.

The Big Bang Theory

THE BIG BANG THEORY
“We got bazinga’ed by ObamaCare!”

When Sheldon is diagnosed with a rare pre-existing condition known as “Sheldon Cooper Disease” his mother convinces him to register for ObamaCare.  Problem is the darn website just won’t work.  Sheldon takes it upon himself to redesign the whole website.  Unfortunately, the site is such a mess that it takes even a genius with 187 IQ too long to fix, and before he can figure out how to get it to work, he becomes the first to die from Sheldon Cooper Disease.

Keeping Up with the Kardashians

Since money can’t buy happiness, Kim Kardashian’s doctor prescribes her Zoloft.  While at Walgreens, she gets into a fight with a pharmacist because the register can’t give her change for a $1,000 bill.  She tries to trade the money with a sick homeless man outside only to be shocked to learn that he’s not taking advantage of ObamaCare.  She lectures him about the benefits of the program that someone told her about during one of Kanye’s release parties.  It was loud, so the details were a little fuzzy.  Regardless, Kim decides to bring the homeless man to her home to help him sign up online.  While they wait for the website to load (which takes several hours) one of the show’s producers becomes enamored with the homeless guy and hooks him up with Executive Producer Ryan Seacrest.  Seacrest loves him and decides to give him his own show on E! called “Keeping Up with the Kardashians’ Homeless Guy.”  Technically he does find a home in the first episode, but no one ever bothers to ask him what his name is.  Anyway, he becomes a huge star and a millionaire and it was all because of ObamaCare (which technically he never signs up for).

Game of Thrones

Daenerys Targaryen decides to unite the seven kingdoms with a groundbreaking, yet controversial health care system, referred to primarily by its nickname, TargaryenCare. (Mostly because the actual name is quite off-putting:  Free Healthcare or You Will Be Eaten by A Dragon Act.) As the name suggests, health care is provided to anyone in need and if they refuse, they are eaten by a dragon.  After George R. R. Martin learns that the HBO show strayed so very far from his actual novels, he has a heart attack and requires triple bypass surgery.  Everything is okay, because he signed up for his state’s ObamaCare exchange.  But, the twist is that there was a weird glitch in the system and Mr. R. R. Martin has to pay over $400,000 in medical bills out of pocket.  He’s rich so it’s no biggie. Good thing something like that never happened to a regular guy in Las Vegas.

You’re welcome, Mr. President.

What are some other potential television shows that could use ObamaCare to boost ratings and make America healthier-ish?

Evan Shaw

Evan is an alumnus of the 2013 Taliesin Nexus Filmmakers Workshop and writer of sitcoms, screenplays, and blog posts about food/film/popculture. His sitcom pilots "Faculty & Staff" and "Mergers & Accusations" have previously won Silver Prizes in the PAGE International Screenwriting Awards. His work has also made it to the second round of the Austin Film Festival and the semi-finals of the L.A. Comedy Shorts Film Festival. When not writing, Evan can be found chained to a desk in Virginia, working for a commercial finance company.

  • Matt Edwards

    I don’t watch Big Bang Theory, but that episode feels like it would completely work!